We meet again!
Before you read this post – head over to Part One HERE
After yesterday and the never ending texts and messages I have received informing me of what was happening… I am in a good place with it all today. The complete fabrication of these claims made against myself, my family, my children, and my business continue to go on.
So as I have been told time and time again, that there is no need to move forward with sharing my financial information, I feel like this is the best way to share my reasons for reaching out for help when Hoffa was sick and to ease any concern that I would misuse money that was allocated for an emergency event in our lives.
This odd sense of excitement and relief washed over me last night – as my finger hit post and I felt ok with everything. I was calm and even stayed awake editing and compiling the information for todays farewell to this topic.
My emotions ranged from hurt, disbelief, sadness, and fear to this calm resolve and acceptance. I was made aware of what was happening by someone I don’t know personally on Instagram by DM. It didn’t take long for me to find the post and read most of the horrible things being said about me. I stopped reading about half way in and throughout the day I was given a list of names that I should block on my social media.
SO many names.
Some of these names I had never heard, but some… I knew and was completely shocked to see.
Theres nothing like a piping hot cup of WOW when you’re mind is literally melting from confusion and disbelief.
These people that were and continue to feed the fire – were my friends, some only online but some, I shared intimate experiences with.
I immediately sent private texts to the women that were still on my contact list in my phone and asked them to tell me directly what had caused them to say these things and to spread false claims about my family and I.
I was met with mockery, name calling, and open ended threats- by a couple, but no real answer to my inquiry. No proof of these malicious acts of “Mean Girl” that I am being accused of or manipulation that I am so good at.
I was met with empty and completely unfounded claims with the next – again, no response after further questions were presented.
I hate even saying it still stings… But i’m being honest here and it does. Lying and misrepresenting is the worst. You can’t do anything to change someone’s view of you even when it’s all complete bullshit. The one person I was closest to, was the most hurtful of all and the words that lit up my screen confirmed my decision. It gave me a sense of breathe in and out. It’s over and for a good reason. A founded reason.
Then I was met with silence. No response. But ya know the read receipts were on 🙂 I see you.
Touching back on yesterday and the reason for the initial “calling out” post that was shared in the morning.
This post was in response – again, to me posting on my Instagram Stories about a shop that was making something similar to what I make and I was feeling very defensive and protective (you can read my first post here). Probably because we are on the low end of the tide pool and my business is literally the food on the table.
This does not excuse my behavior.
This does not make it ok.
The post about me hit the nail on the head in one way – I was being an asshole about something that really didn’t affect me or my business.
That was not cool.
I reached out to the shop that was tagged in my stories and I apologized to her directly. This apology was not prompted by anyone or anything – other than my own consciousness about my immature behavior and complete lack of self control in an emotional moment (again, I am WORKING ON THAT). She was gracious and short in her response.
All that was said after that on the initial post was twisted and manipulated into the beast that it has become – with literally every single Instagram mom hopping on the bus.
(These claims are slanderous and defamatory and are being documented as such.)
These women have been in my feed for YEARS. We have had great conversation about politics, where to look for homes in Seattle, where we got what top for our baby, and everything in between.
I have watched their babies grow up and have read their posts about cracked nipples and co-sleeping disasters. We were ok with each others existence and even took an interest in each others’ lives. This community created this sense of “I’m really not alone!” when in reality – this idea falls into “too good to be true” It is riddled with passive aggressiveness, clique behavior, and an invitation to be ridiculed and gossiped about because you have an iPhone 7 & tattoos.
I am called fake and phony because I write my thoughts on my personal social media accounts online.
I am accused of exploiting my children by sharing photos of them.
I am accused of being racist.
I am accused of taking taking taking – when it’s funny but… In actuality I gave.
My family gave.
Free trips and food – without so much as a thank you.
This entire group of women (and man) spend their time in group texts seeing who can bash one individual the most. During the course of these “friendships” – each person spent time talking negatively about each person in this group.
Oh and the best part! They met through me at one of my fake family BBQ’s and they all must have hated every second.
This “club” is way too cool for me.
If you don’t have a marble table and subway tile – you are definitely NOT cool enough to join.
Who the hell wants to be a part of that?
The need for me to explain all of this comes from myself – and no one else. If anything it has been difficult for both my husband and I to be this transparent with our financial situation but I feel it is necessary in this case.
Especially when myself and my business is being slandered in such a way.
My poor husband. I have not been coy about our problems or our struggles. I have shared SO MUCH that he begged me not to share in the heat of the moment – for my own selfish reasons. In standing up for me, he has had to deal with the wrath of one of the most aggressive and hateful internet trolls that I have ever come across, and that says A LOT.
I’ve seen some awful shit, but she takes the hate cake and eats the entire thing and then has another. I am not naming any names, but if you have a gut feeling about someone… Go with it.
You are probably right.
Now let’s get back to the financial shit!
I reached out to my vet clinic (they are so amazing and accommodating) and they quickly sent over the rest of my receipts for Hoffa’s care. I have included ALL receipts for his care during the duration of my Gofundme Campaign.
My Financial information is all over on my original post – including income and outgoing bills for that month. You can find it HERE
These receipts are included below
Total cost of care during this time was $1351.60.
At your mercy and graciousness $1366 was raised during Hoffa’s Gofundme campaign from June 25th – October 2016.
$175 was from close family to be applied toward this bill & the following bill
$558 was gross total made by my business Iron Wood & Wool for the cause (This was not including shipping costs/paypal fees) After shipping and fees This would have been (I’ll be generous) approx $300 after shipping 25 orders and deducting PayPal fees.
That would bring us to $791 in unique donations toward Hoffa’s vet bill – from you!
Personal/Family contribution reached $475
This still left us with a 21.96 surplus after both vet bills were paid. This went toward the purchase of an urn to hold his ashes.
At this point in my life – my husband was bringing in just under 50K (Gross) – this is no bueno in California.
Our ship is tight which means we work 24/7.
My business currently brings approx 35K a year (not including supplies, taxes, & business costs)
Our GROSS monthly income was approx $6250 – though during the summer months – my monthly income can fall to as little as $500-$700 a month
June of 2016 was a slow month with only $1378.75 being brought in (before shipping and fees) This would bring my net down to approx $985 that month.
That is $4985 for that month. For a family of six.
You can find all documentation of my family’s income during that time – on my original post.
(edits: Hoffa was euthanized in September – not October. I originally stated we had a surplus of $21.66 but we did not. We in fact had to cover what we were short – $100)
Hoffa lost his fight with his multiple health issues – the worst of which was never discovered.
We said our goodbyes on September 13th – he was surrounded with love and flowers. He passed away quietly and peacefully in my arms.
With all of this behind me, I am going to move forward without feeling jaded or bitter.
I’m going to continue doing what makes me happy with a few less people in my life.
But maybe it’s better that way?
It’s not about how many friends you have – it’s the quality of the relationship and whether or not they are there when you find yourself being bullied online.
The give and the take – a mutual and unspoken understanding that is built on trust and honesty.
I’ll be ok. I am ok.
This experience has made me recognize quite a bit about myself and what it is I need to work on.
Being more active in my community, spending time with my family, growing my business, and nurturing my relationships.
I have spent entirely too much time digging up receipts, calling the vet clinic, and writing this post.
Those of you that are here to troll and judge – I hope you enjoyed the read.
The internet would be a boring place without you, keep up the good work