I’m going to bypass the shit talk and bullshit and I am going to gracefully serve you the facts.
Today has been full of EMOTION.
Let me tell you… If you have never been bullied online before, I don’t suggest it. It is not fun and kind of takes you back to fifth grade and having big ears and no friends. Well I guess I still have big ears and no friends…. Hahaha.
Let us start with my rash decision based on pure emotion and irritation.
I shared some photos on my Instagram stories about a woman that is making very similar wall hangings. I expressed my emotions in the form of immature photos with stupid captions about her pricing and how her aesthetic was the same as mine.
I did not attack her person, her family, her friends, her dog, her house, you get it…
I am a speaker before a thinker. My filter can sometimes be off and I say and do things that may not be likable.
see: posts about my shitty marriage, posts about my depression, posts about all of my deep dark thoughts… The list goes on. I OVERSHARE to the fifth degree. It’s something i’m working on – I’m trying out journaling for a bit.
I was completely wrong for posting about this shop and for reacting the way that I did.
I was wrong. I own it.
I am going to personally message her and apologize and I will include that screenshot tomorrow with all the other shit I’ll be sharing.
Her shop is @Florencethemaker and she makes great stuff. You should buy it!
She is expecting a baby and I did not know this. My actions likely caused her undue stress, and for that I am so incredibly sorry.
The theme here from now forward is going to be transparency. I’m going to hand deliver my fucked up finances to you – so you can see where your money went.
Some of you stepped forward when I asked for help this past June. My dog was really sick and he was my best friend. My vet told me that he had a chance and she allowed me to go ahead and leave him there for the night on my promise that I would raise the money to cover his bill.
We don’t have credit and we don’t have any credit cards – so that was not an option.
Only cold hard cash.
At your mercy and graciousness $1366 was raised during Hoffa’s Gofundme campaign from June 25th – October 2016.
Our first vet bill was $884.04 with a monetary donation called into the vet for $40 – our bill was reduced to $844.04
Our last and final bill would meet or exceed $500 for Cremation & Euthanasia (this receipt will be shared tomorrow)
$175 was from close family to be applied toward this bill & the following bill
$558 was gross total made by my business Iron Wood & Wool for the cause (This was not including shipping costs/paypal fees) After shipping and fees This would have been (I’ll be generous) approx $300 after shipping 25 orders and deducting PayPal fees.
That would bring us to $791 in unique donations toward Hoffa’s vet bill – from you!
Personal/Family contribution reached $475
This still left us with a 21.96 surplus after both vet bills were paid. This went toward the purchase of an urn to hold his ashes.
At this point in my life – my husband was bringing in just under 50K (Gross) – this is no bueno in California.
Our ship is tight which means we work 24/7.
My business currently brings approx 35K a year (not including supplies, taxes, & business costs)
Our GROSS monthly income was approx $6250 – though during the summer months – my monthly income can fall to as little as $500-$700 a month
June of 2016 was a slow month with only $1378.75 being brought in (before shipping and fees) This would bring my net down to approx $985 that month.
That is $4985 for that month. For a family of six.
Hoffa was also on Insulin and required a vial of Vetsulin each month.
This Vetsulin + cost of his food was $186 monthly.
School was out so this means doubled grocery bills as well. from approx $400 a month to $750/800 a month. (this is an estimate – on the low end)
My monthly shop fee for my business at this time was $10 a month
my rent is $2495 a month
my car payment is $500 a month
my car insurance is $244 a month
Our Hulu & Netflix subscriptions are approximately $30 a month combined
Our phone bill is $230 a month
Our cell phones were purchased by credit card (paying that off next month)
Our Disney passes were a partial Christmas gift from my mom – who has helped our family so much through hard times. SO MUCH.
I have a business loan that gets paid monthly as well out of each purchase made through PayPal (25% of each purchase) and approx $300 a month in supplies for my business.
Gas to and from work for my husband was approx $60 a week as he traveled 35 miles each way.
Oh and don’t forget school supplies, uniforms for when the boys get a hole in the knee of their pants, and clothing and shoes for my girls.
We are not on government assistance (we have had food benefits and Medi-Cal before but not currently) – so we pay out of pocket for these things.
Do the math.
Oh wait, I’ll do it for you…
That leaves us at ZERO. Zero extra money.
The average month our money going out almost meets the money coming in.
With a teeny bit left after necessities, kids activities, and if I have a busy week – I may treat myself to a little bit of work on my arm or a cardigan from Target. Our kids may even get a toy for getting a good grade or we might just go splurge on $18 for parking at Disneyland.
I am defending myself against people – most I have never met or even spoken to… that have spent their entire day spreading lies about myself and my family. My business is being torn to the ground by untrue accusations and completely false statements, I am being accused of only having one black friend and only being her friend so I can fit in and be cool, and I am receiving hateful messages and threats causing me to make all of my social media private.
My name has been slandered and drug through the mud.
I have been accused of spending Gofundme money from Hoffa’s emergency vet stay as well as my home birth – to get new clothes and tattoos.
(I will be gathering all of my receipts from my Home Birth Gofundme as well – this was back in 2013/2014 and will require me to continue working after the kids go to sleep – I am solo parenting this week)
Our total amount raised through that Gofundme campaign was $4560 with the goal being $4490
The total cost of our home birth through the midwifery was $4490
That left us with a surplus of $70 to go towards our birth pool and home birth kit.
You can view the entire process and fundraising effort by visiting the Facebook page as well as the Instagram page
I saved both for memories – but I am happy to share to disprove the lies that are being spread about me.
I mean, look at this adorable photo! I see some familiar faces in there!!!
I worked my ass off for three months to raise that money with $1350.45 made at this two day yard sale alone!
(Thanks to the donations of goods from friends and strangers alike)
Another little piece of information. We were surviving on unemployment during the last months of my pregnancy with Ever. That was $1600 a month after my husband was laid off unexpectedly from his job of ten years. That was a hard pill to swallow.
Our rent was much cheaper at $1450, but we still had four children to take care of and an astronomical amount of bills.
The same people that are calling me a scammer/con artist were the ones that stood by me through each of these events. One of them watched my kids while I ran out my front door crying with my dog in my arms. The other sat with me at the yard sale and helped me sling goods. She celebrated with me after my baby was born and I witnessed the birth of her two babies.
These accusations are completely untrue and were brought to the surface by something that must be really affecting these individuals.
The past year I have walked away from many friendships. After finding out the same people I shared my most personal life and thoughts with – were gossiping behind my back – I calmly let them know that I would not be continuing the friendship.
This was met with silence from one, my best friend in the entire world. She accepted it and was fine with it, though her husband has been participating in spreading lies, I don’t believe she has participated much in the bullying.
The other took jabs at my character and expressed how she truly felt about me. Which I wish I would have known a lot sooner instead of believing this person was truly invested in me. This person has been the most slanderous in her statements – of these three.
The last quietly removed herself from my social media without explanation – even after asking her. I still have no idea why she decided to walk away from our friendship but I am going to guess it has something to do with the second person I spoke about.
Then there are the people that really have no idea who I am. People that have never spoken to me or gotten to know me – that are really just looking for something to do. I don’t blame them for jumping on the hate train, I mean, look at the world right now. Everyone is a little pissed off.
If you don’t like me – that is OK. I am OK with that.
Not everyone is going to like you.
But let me say this… Bullying is not OK. Stomping on someone’s reputation and slandering the name of a former friend or stranger for likes and acceptance – is not cool.
Without proof – It is cause for legal action. (I’m gonna start a Gofundme for that. Just KIDDING!!)
Plus it just makes you a bad human.
I haven’t been in any way quiet about my struggle with depression and anxiety.
It has wreaked havoc on my life.
If I were, say a fifteen year old girl with these big ears and not many friends… I may not have made it through today. The things that were and still are being said about me – if said about someone that is not mentally ok – could do serious harm. This could cause someone to take their own life, to shut down on family and friends, to fade into the background.
I’m grateful for the three friends that reached out to me today. I’m grateful for my husband for knowing and loving me, even when i’m putting our relationship on blast (sorry babe). He is away for work and has wiped away my tears over FaceTime more than once today.
Without them, I might not be Ok.
I contemplated deleting my social media earlier today, but then I was like… No way!
I have shared so many private moments, happy moments, the best moments on that page – there’s no way I am walking away from that. Plus, what would all of these ladies and men do with their spare time? I See you 🙂
I’ve learned from this, so much.
Misery loves company, People can be super mean, my mom is crazy for sticking up for me, and I’m not going anywhere.
This is just the tiniest tip of the iceberg and I will be providing more documentation/receipts once the vet clinic/midwifery open their doors in the morning.
Thank YOU for staying until the end.